Simple Actions To Help Build a Good Relationship with Your Teen

Here are some simple actions you can take to connect and strengthen your relationship with your teen.

Loving family by maddielovesya

Loving family by maddielovesya

Be a good listener.  Listening is one of the most important skills a parent can develop to build a good relationship. It leads to open communication, which is key to building strong families and helping children make healthy decisions. A tip for parents: Listen, listen, then listen some more so you understand the feelings behind the words.  Most teens will accept if you don’t agree with them as long as you validate their feelings.

Be in touch with your emotions and express them in healthy ways. Through your actions and words, show your child it is important to be respectful of others. Set good examples on how to express love and caring. Learn how to handle anger and other emotions appropriately so you can be a good model.

Keep your promises.  Kids need to know that they can count on you. Keep the promises you make and don’t make promises you know you can’t – or won’t – keep.

Discipline with love.  Children need loving discipline, not angry punishment. In a family meeting – with input from all, discuss family expectations, appropriate behavior, house rules, and consequences. Put this is writing and have all family members sign. This makes for clear family rules and consistent consequences. 

Show affection.  Through your actions and words, let your teen know you love him/her every day.  Research has shown that parent-child warmth is related to positive outcomes for children, including higher self-esteem and fewer behavior problems. Similarly, your child needs to know his/her parents love each other – let your child see that you do through your actions and words to each other. This makes for a secure and stable home environment and is a model for how to show their love in their own significant relationships.

Be a good teacher and role model.  It’s not only when your child is young that you are your child’s first and most important teacher. Discuss with your teen what you think is right and wrong – and why. Help your teen make good choices by making good choices yourself. Do not engage in unhealthy or dangerous practices, such as alcohol or drug use (this includes prescribed drugs). Your child may think these practices are acceptable – no matter what you say – and your teen will think you are a hypocrite.

Get involved in your child’s school life.  Many teens experience a time when keeping up with school work is difficult – especially during a transitional year, such as moving from elementary to middle school, or middle school to high school. One way that you can help if your teen is having academic difficulties, is to talk often with teachers and become involved in the school. Know what your child is studying and help with homework if necessary. Attend school events. Make your home a home that values learning.

Connect with other parents.  Get to know other parents. Introduce yourself to the parents of your teen’s friends. Get their phone numbers. Discuss your teen’s activities and family expectations. 

Take the best possible care of yourself and your children.  Take good care of your children by ensuring they eat nutritious food, are active, and get enough sleep. Take good care of yourself in the same way.

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